Home.

Ok soooo...I did a thing. I stepped into conscious relationship with a house and land (yes, I bought a house!!!). And moved to Upstate Ny! (Just for clarity, the Western Mass studio is still alive and thriving and will continue to!!)

My life has been filled with massive transitions on literally every level over this past winter.

As winter embodies hibernation, slowing down, tending, inner observation, contemplation, revitalizing and rebuilding inner and outer resources this is exactly what this winter has been. In all honesty it's been a fucking challenge. One worth *all* of the discomfort and growing pains.

Home has been a very deep part of my exploration, my healing, my learning and central to my magic for a long time. Most notably since 2014 as it came into my direct awareness. So much so that at that time I had the word ‘home.’ tattooed onto my body. Although in all of this time I have never had a solid, consistent “place” to call home. The exploration around home has been so much more than just about a physical place. It's been a learning of my Self, my true needs, expression, my belonging within a web of relationships. It's truly become my spiritual center. I've found that the physical space only deepens this, but the physical space of home is not necessary for this magic to exist. It exists in all of us, all of the time. It's been a pretty intense practice to cultivate this sense of home and the powers of safety that are possible internally as well as externally while navigating a culture and systems that do not value it. 

I want to share a little bit about this home and how it came into being. I cannot possibly share all that led to this, but I’ll give a little context because how this relationship has been co-created is deeply meaningful to me and the only reason it is even happening.

The passing on of this house did not happen through a bank or realtors and it was never on the market. It was a fateful meeting and has been an owner financed sale. The connection with this person has been nurtured from a resonant alignment of values, integrity, and a connection to and care of home, land, and community care. Although I have dreamed into a physical home, I have never felt drawn to “owning land” so much so that I have taken literally zero steps to do so by traditional means even though, yes, I could have. I have naturally focused, instead, on the relationships and connections that embody and support the values I hold dearly and in my own ways, live. When considering home, the question has become clear. What will it ‘feel’ like to live there? What will life be like there? How do I support the relationship and how does the home, the land itself support the relationship? Honoring and acknowledging that it is a mutual co-creation. Maybe I just wasn’t fully ready until now.. There is so so much more to all of this and it will more and more come through in all that I do and create in my offerings and how I continue to evolve, live, and connect with the community and world around me.

This choice is growing me everyday.

I am in deep gratitude daily. It is not hyperbole when I say that I actually express thanks every single time I walk into it, wake up, move through it. Sometimes with words out loud, sometimes with an embodied felt sense of gratitude, sometimes just with joy at the feeling of supported. Not just by this home but by my community, the relationships that have grown me, supported me, been deeply meaningful reflections for growth and connection. Mutual value and respect, seeing each other. All of these things and so much more are how this came to be. Although I believe deeply in the powers of each of us individually and the importance of our own personal awareness, growth and development..a well tended and conscious relationship with Self..I am absolutely and greatly aware that I am very much a part of a web of relationships that are the only reason that all I am so grateful for exists. I am in deep gratitude for all those who are a part of my life in this way. This is true joy to me. I am sincerely moved even as I write this, tears welling up in the truth of this.

Just, thank you. To all the threads of relationship that walked with me here.

And, there is a barn. There is a barn!! And a little bit of land held by trees and so many plant beings I’m getting to meet as spring blossoms. Renovations have already begun to create a space for weaving, creative and community gathering and I’m visioning into lots of possibilities of creating, learning, and growing with others. More on this soon soon soon!

There are lots of beginnings including in how and what I share and that will be a tender and expansive ever evolving growth process for me, so I’m just going to leave it all at this for now. But before I do it feels true on my heart to share, as I celebrate the incredible privilege of finding and deepening into home..

..a note on the ever present state of our world as we've all been witness to and have without question felt in some way. Home in place, land, the possibility of safety in home is a deeply rooted wound in so so too many humans personally as well as culturally. Lands have and continue to be stolen, there has and continues to be never ending massive amounts of displacement, and too many people(s) are in a constant state of panic and stress to even be able to afford or find a home - physically as well as spiritually (how many people are doing work that does not feed their soul + purpose just to be able to afford a home? And how much can they sink into the pleasures of home and safety from that deregulated embodiment?) As I have been moving into this relationship with home it has been deeply present and not at all lost on me the devastating amount of people around the world who have been losing their lands, homes literally being destroyed and just how inequitable and deeply disconnected from care and integrity these systems of destruction are and have been and continue to be. People without a sense of home, a sense of belonging is the root of deep wounds that carry through generations until tended and healed.

It has only deepened the unequivocal belief that without creating systems that support each other in finding and feeling home in self and community there will always be deep pain and despair. With great honor and privilege, this home is nurturing my foundations to stand for and create systems and connections that model care for each other and the deep value of feeling a sense of belonging, of home for everyone. I am deeply committed to continuing to center this in the life I create for my self and others. We all contribute in the ways that we can, and I’m here to offer the reminder that we can.

Blessings of home in any ways you find them today.